Own the Room

Steve Ballmer's executive leadership of Microsoft was legendary. But not always in the way you might expect.

Passion? Oh h*ll, yes. In a very big way.

Presence? Um, well, it depends on who you ask.

In one meeting, he could rally up the entire employee base with his limitless energy.

In another, his volcanic temper could result in throwing profanities and chairs (yes, true story).

Although Steve was an executive and he had a very memorable presence, he's not the best example for what we call exec presence.

At least not consistently.

Executive Presence is one of those terms that's elusive. As you advance up the corporate ladder, people throw this term around.

It sounds vague and slightly elitist. It's easy to think you have to be an executive to qualify.

But stick with me.

It’s not about being extroverted.
It’s not about wearing power suits.
And it’s definitely not about being the loudest person in the room.

Most people misunderstand executive presence. They think it’s charisma. Or confidence. Or "looking the part."

But the people who actually have it?

They understand one key thing:

Executive Presence isn’t something you perform.
It’s something you emit.

What Is Executive Presence, Really?

Sylvia Ann Hewlett’s classic framework breaks it into three pillars:

1. Gravitas (67%) – how you act

2. Communication (28%) – how you speak

3. Appearance (5%) – how you look

Let me break that down:

• Gravitas = you walk into a room and people lean in. You don’t need to raise your voice. You own the moment by how you carry yourself. You are confident. You speak with clarity, not clutter. You pause, not because you forgot your point, but because your words matter. You’re the calm in the chaos. The decision in doubt. The presence people trust.

• Communication = you say fewer words, but they carry weight. You don’t ramble. You don’t over-explain. You don’t use 300 words when 12 will land better. You speak like someone who knows they’ll be heard. It’s not just what you say — it’s how you say it. Tone. Timing. Tact. Every word earns its place.

• Appearance = not glam, just intentional. You’re not trying to win a runway. You’re showing up in a way that aligns with your message.
  You look like you gave it a moment of thought, not like you’re trying too hard. You show up polished, not perfect. Presence isn’t about your outfit. It’s about your energy.

So yes, presence is more than how you show up. It’s what you radiate when you’re fully grounded in who you are and why you’re there.

Why It Matters (A Lot More Than You Think)

We’re in an age of hybrid work, Zoom fatigue, and Slack chaos.

Here’s what the data says:

📊 A 2012–2024 overview from Coqual (formerly the Center for Talent Innovation) indicates that executive presence accounts for approximately 26% of what helps leaders get promoted, across performance, potential, and presence.
📊 According to Organizational Talent’s 2024 survey, 89% say presence helps you advance; 78% say lack of it holds you back.

If You’ve Ever Felt Like You’re Being Overlooked…

You’re not making it up.

You could have the best ideas, the best results, and the best intentions…

But if you don’t show up with the clarity, calm, and conviction that exudes presence?

You might stay invisible.

I coach people on this all the time. Senior managers. VPs. 

Because presence isn’t about level. Or your title.

It’s about energy. How you show up. It’s about how people feel when you speak, move, and lead.

The 8 Key Qualities of Executive Presence

Over time, I’ve observed the characteristics and traits that strong executive leaders embody, and I’ve narrowed it down to 8 qualities.

The good news?

These are not personality traits you either have or don’t; they’re skills you can develop.

If you want to lead with confidence, earn influence, and drive impact, this is your roadmap. As you go through each one of these characteristics, give yourself a 1-10 self-assement score, where 10 is high (I've got this) and 1 is low (blind spot, needs work)

1. Emotional Intelligence and Maturity – This is about keeping your cool when the pressure is on or when you're pissed off. It's the anti-chair throwing way of being. Great leaders don’t take feedback personally. They don’t spiral when things get messy or political. They respond versus react, even when someone challenges their ideas or questions their decisions. They show up calm, grounded, and focused. Their ability to manage their internal state (especially under stress) makes them consistent and trustworthy. That’s the kind of resilience people and companies trust (and want) at the top.

2. Clear & Confident Communication – Forget jargon and over-explaining. The leaders with presence get to the point clearly and confidently. They make their point in 2 sentence that others will do in 2 paragraphs. They understand that how they say something matters just as much as what they say. They manage their tone, pace, and volume. And they know communication is a two-way street; they listen just as intentionally as they speak.  When they speak, people lean in. There’s no rambling or second-guessing. Just clarity and conviction.

3. Aware of Body Language – People are always watching, not just when you’re in the room but also on video. Those with executive presence show up in person or on camera with grounded energy. Their posture, eye contact, and expression say: “I’m calm, I’m ready, and I’ve got this.” They’re self-aware; they know if they’ve had a rough morning, and they don’t let that energy spill out unconsciously onto their team. Body language also extends to what you wear and your personal style. It doesn't have to be the latest fashion, it needs to be on-purpose. It needs to fit the norms of the work enviroment you're in. 

4. Confident Decision-Making –Leaders with executive presence don’t waffle. They do the homework, ask the right questions, weigh the risks, and then make a clear call. They’re not reckless, and they don’t rush decisions to please people. They own the outcomes of their choices, and they communicate trade-offs when needed. They don’t outsource confidence to the room. You’ll never hear them say, “Well… what do you all think I should do?” They make decisions with clarity and courage.

5. Manage Time Effectively– Executive presence shows up in your calendar. Are you showing up late and frazzled? Consistently double booked? Or are you running your schedule with the right amount of buffer space and intention? Top leaders respect time, both theirs and others’. They arrive prepared, start on time and end on time. They focus on what matters most, not just what feels urgent. They protect their energy and say 'no' when needed so they can show up strong.

6. Do Their Homework – Winging it might work for a while, but it won’t build trust at the executive level. The best leaders are prepared. They know their business. They ask for briefs, do the reading, and know the details before they walk in. They come with questions, context, and clarity. And when they’re in the room, they’re fully present, not multitasking or scrambling to catch up. That level of professionalism speaks volumes.

7. Get & Use Feedback – Leaders who avoid feedback don’t grow.
   Executive presence means being proactive about feedback. It’s having the maturity to ask your team, peers, or manager: “How am I leading?" "Where can I/we improve?” and then acting on it. It’s also about treating feedback as data, not as a personal attack. Whether it’s through surveys, corporate organizational health review processes, or quick check-ins, they make feedback a regular part of how they lead.

8. Solutions aka 'Can-Do' Approach– Things won’t always go your way. Problems will always exist. Projects will get messy. Budgets will get cut. Resources will fall short. But the leaders who stand out aren’t the ones who complain, vent or shut down — they’re the ones who say: “Let me take a look at what’s possible.” They find ways forward. They have a solutions and outcome focused mindset. They get creative when they need to. Even if they need to ask for more time, budget, or support, they focus on what can be done, not just why it’s hard. That optimism, balanced with realism, is magnetic. And done consistently, is the foundation for promotion.

Executive Presence Lives on 3 Levels

Just like we talked about in the Mindbending Approach To Time, (Outcome → Process → Identity), Executive Presence has layers too.

Let’s peel back the onion:

1. The Tactical Layer

This is the “what do I do” part.

• Do you speak clearly and with structure?

• Do you pause instead of over-explaining?

• Do you manage your facial expressions and body language in meetings?

• Do you make confident decisions?

Tip: Speak in threes. People retain information better in structured, grouped formats. It also makes you sound more decisive.

Example: “Here’s what we know, what’s at stake, and what I recommend.”

2. The Emotional Layer

This is the “how do I make people feel” part.

• Do people feel calm and confident when you speak?

• Do you signal confidence under pressure?

• Can you own a mistake without shrinking?

• Do you know how to mitigate your triggers?

Coaching Tip: Presence is about being grounded. The nervous energy you bring to a meeting is louder than your actual words. Learn how to breathe before you speak. Seriously. Try box breathing before a big meeting. 

3. The Identity Layer

(Yeah, if you've worked with me for any amount of time you knew this was coming.)

If you don’t believe you belong in that room, no tactical trick will stick.

• Do you see yourself as a leader people want to follow?

• Do you believe you and your voice has value?

• Are you operating from confidence or from compensation?

Ask yourself: "How would I show up differently if I already knew I was respected and trusted?"

Because...

You can borrow a posture of power. But real presence is when your inner world aligns with your outer energy.

The Bottom Line

Executive presence isn’t some magic gift you’re handed at birth. And it's not something for "other people." It’s a skill that can be built and is your ticket to faster advancement. It's like muscle you build every single day, developed by how you show up, how you speak, and how you carry yourself when things get real.

It’s what sets leaders apart from the crowd.

It’s why some people get promoted, lead teams that perform, and earn trust that sticks.

So if you want to own your career and show up fully, start here:

• Lean into gravitas—that calm confidence and poise under pressure.

• Speak with purpose—say less, mean more.

• Show up intentionally—your presence is your personal brand on full display.

• Own your growth mindset—be the leader your teams and peers rely on when the heat is on.

Reframe Your Identity

Let’s play a game.

Think of someone you believe has the executive presence you want to emulate.

Maybe it's Michelle Obama. Or Satya Nadella. Or your fearless mentor from three jobs ago.

Now ask:

What’s the internal identity they must carry to show up that way?

• Calm under pressure?

• Laser clarity?

• Authority without ego?

• Being 100% present with you?

You don’t need to be them.
But you can channel what you admire.

This is how one of my clients anchored their presence:

“I walk into the room like someone who just got invited to solve the problem no one else could.”

Game. Changed.

The Weekly Edge

Let’s bring it home.

This week, try this:

Pause: Before your next big meeting or interview, take a minute. Breathe. Remember: your presence starts before you speak.
Reframe: Ask, “What energy do I want to bring into this room?”
Act: Pick one meeting to practice. Sit taller. Speak less, but with intention. Finish strong. Debrief after.

Track how people respond. Then ask yourself:

Did I shift the room?

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present.

Own the room.
Lead like you mean it.
You’ve already got what it takes. Now just radiate it.

— Julie

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