The Secret Weapon To Being A Better Communicator

Here's the scenario:

You were given the timeslot to provide a 25-minute update on your business to the exec leadership team.

You've been wanting to get more visibility, and voilà, you've now got it. 

You prepare for days, charting out the strategy, resourcing your friend ChatGPT to build out the presentation, summarizing priorities and revenue upside. You're ready to report out on the team and progress toward goals.

The big day comes. You're feeling nervous, but ready.

You start going through your well-rehearsed update until...

[insert screeching sound here]

Five minutes in, one of the execs hijacks the discussion, questioning one of your research sources, and dives deep into a debate about one of the numbers listed on appendix slide #4.

You do your best to stay professional and answer the detailed questions. But you feel your blood pressure rising and your face flushing.

After the meeting is over, you walk out of the room, dumbfounded.

What the h*ll just happened??

Before you start ruminating on this for hours or days, know this:

You didn’t do anything wrong.

You just weren't prepared to speak the language of your execs.

That’s where understanding communication preferences becomes your secret weapon.

Why Communication Breaks Down

Most people have no idea why communication breakdowns happen.

They're either righteously indignant and assume the other person is the issue... Or they're self-diminishing and assume that they're the one who did something wrong. 

Neither one of these is correct, or even remotely helpful.

So what's the truth?

It’s about the difference, not the deficiency.

This is where I get to share my favorite secret weapon for wiping out communication issues:

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

Yep, you've probably done the MBTI assessment at some point in school or at work. But if you're like most people, you didn't really know how you could use it. 

Let's start with a bit of context.

There are four categories in the MBTI, or what I'm calling the secret weapon framework:

1. How you recharge mental energy
2. How you take in information
3. How you make decisions
4. How you approach life (and work)

Let's break down the above scenario through the first two:

You are a thoughtful, reflective person. You were given this big opportunity and you prepared for it. You're mentally recharged through the quiet time and ability to think through all the scenarios. 

This is aligned with the MBTI preference of Introversion.

Your exec, however, recharges externally. He's mentally energized by thinking out loud and talking through things.

This is aligned with the MBTI preference of Extraversion.

You are thinking strategically, aka big picture, and how all the pieces connect together. You know the future path and are an expert in the space. 

Even though you may not say so out loud, you're thinking 'trust me'.

This is aligned with the MBTI preference of Intuition.

Your exec, however craves details, data, proof. He's focused on the here-and-now present issues and problems that need to be solved. He's locked onto step one while you're already on step ten.

Even though he may not say so outloud, he's thinking 'prove it'.

This is aligned with the MBTI preference of Sensing.

We don't have to go much further to see the conflict here...

When one person is thinking 'trust me' and the other is thinking 'prove it', there's bound to be a battle.

One of the biggest issues with communication is that we don't have a framework for understanding ourselves and how we process information, and how others may process differently.

When we don’t recognize these differences, we mislabel them:

• “She’s so rigid.”

• “He’s all over the place.”

• “They’re too sensitive.”

• “He never listens.”

They’re not wrong. They’re just different.

And when you learn the skills to flex your communication, you can quickly build trust, alignment, and influence.

And that's what I hope to teach you today.

The Myers-Briggs Framework

I use the Myers-Briggs framework to help clients understand conflicts, decode communication challenges, create alignment, and have a toolset to influence with confidence.

Here’s the backstory:

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) was developed during World War II by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers, inspired by Carl Jung’s theory of psychological types. Initially, it was created to help women entering the workforce find roles that fit their natural preferences.

Fast forward to today: the MBTI is one of the most widely used personality assessments globally, with over 2 million people taking the official assessment annually. It’s used to improve leadership, team dynamics, and organizational performance.

This isn’t about labeling people or putting them in boxes. It’s about using the framework to understanding the patterns that shape how we recharge mentally, process, think, decide, and respond.

Managers and leaders who know how to use this tool can quickly understand how each of their directs and peers process and make decisions and adjust their communication style to match it.

This knowledge allows them to establish credibility, trust and drive decisions quickly. And as I'm sure you know, without a way to understand the differences between people, team interaction can be wildly and frustratingly inefficient. 

Here’s one of my favorite resources to assess your preferences and how you can start applying it immediately.

The 16 Nuances of Communication

Myers Briggs is mapped to 16 different preferences. But to keep this simple, we'll look at the framework across the four categories, below.

Here’s your cheat sheet to decode styles (and yes, this is gold for relationships, interviews, pitches, and leadership).

1. How You Recharge Mentally = Extrovert ↔ Introvert

• Extroverts recharge their mental energy externally. They crave collaboration, people, activity. They'll prefer to communicate in person or via video or phone. They're quick on their feet and typically have no problem if they're put on the spot for an immediate answer. They process their thoughts by talking it out. 

• Introverts recharge their mental energy internally. Most introverts need to extrovert all day in their work, but when they need to recharge, it's through down time. They prefer space to think and will typically communicate in writing - email, text, DM. Why? Because this gives them a moment to think. They process their thoughts by reflecting first. 

👉 Pro Tip: With extroverts, talk it out - don’t hide behind email. Call them. With introverts, give them time to process - send the agenda first.

2. How You Take In Information: Sensing ↔ Intuition 

• Sensors are powerhouses when it comes to the detail. They want the specifics, facts, data, expertise. They go deep and are typically the SME on specific subjects. They value and establish credibility through expertise and what's been proven to work. They orient primarily in the present, and are very strong in executional or implementation roles. They process information step-by-step. They're seeking proof before making a decision. 

• Intuitives are powerhouses when it comes to the big picture. They typically have a gut instinct for what needs to get done. They'll leverage data but usually only to back up what they already know. Minimal detail is fine and often preferred for them. They go broad and are typically the first to create a vision. They orient primarily in the future, and are very strong in strategic and long term planning roles. They think about how all the pieces connect together. They want/expect others to trust them before making a decision. 

👉 Pro Tip: Intuitives — know your facts and bring the detail. Sensors — start with the big picture before diving into detail.

3. How You Make Decisions: Thinking ↔ Feeling 

• Thinking preference people make decisions based on logic. They use the data, numbers, research and facts for decision making. In communication, they're typically very direct and to the point, not worrying about what others think. They're competitive and value competence. They'll start by asking 'what' or 'why' questions.

• Feeling preference people make decisions based on values. They'll start with what they (or the company) deems most important for decision making, and look at logic second. They're highly relationship based and will typically first consider the impact of a decision on others. Because harmony is important, they often won't be as direct in communication. They'll start with 'how' something needs to get done.

👉 Pro Tip: With thinkers, be direct. With feelers, build trust before critique.

4. How You Approach Life and Work: Judging ↔ Perceiving

• You can think of the judging preference like a judge in a courtroom. Judging preference people are strong with planning, deadlines, closure. They're highly organized, structured and love a good checklist. When there's a deliverable, they'll map out the milestones, turn in the status reports and get that deliverable done on time or early.

• Perceivers want to keep their options open. They're flexible, adaptive, spontaneous and open to change. They've got a high quality bar but if there's not a deadline, things can remain undone. When there's a deliverable, you're not going to see immediate output. They're thinking about it, but typically you won't see a lot of output. Then just before the deadline there's a rush of activity and that deliverable will get done at the last minute.

👉 Pro Tip: With judgers, be on time. With perceivers, allow for exploration.

Why To Improve Your Communication

This isn’t just “feel-good” theory; it's business-critical. Let’s look at the hard numbers:

• Communication is the #1 skill employers want. 70% of employers now say effective communication is the top skill they seek in candidates. (Simon & Simon International)

• Communication directly impacts productivity. According to a 2024–25 report, 64% of business leaders believe that effective communication has boosted team productivity, with 55% of knowledge workers agreeing. (Pumble)
• Miscommunication isn’t just expensive, it’s catastrophic. A staggering 86% of workplace failures are traced back to ineffective communication. In the U.S., poor communication costs businesses $1.2 trillion annually. (Sociabble)
• Communication builds loyalty and satisfaction. Teams with clear, transparent communication report up to 4.5× better employee retention, 12× higher satisfaction, and 25% improvements in productivity. (Sociabble)

If you’ve ever felt overlooked or misunderstood, don’t just see it as a setback; see it as a signal. 

A signal that, with the right approach, you can turn miscommunication into understanding - and ultimately influence.

How To Wield This Secret Weapon

The real power of Myers-Briggs in communication isn’t just knowing your style; it’s learning to speak the language of others. Here’s how to put it into action:

Step 1: Assess your own preferences
Assess the Myers-Briggs preferences for yourself. Use the 16 Personalities site for help with this. You now know where you're starting.

Step 2: Do your best to assess the preferences of others
Before a meeting, interview, or high-stakes conversation, do your best to “read” the other person’s preferences. Use observable clues:

Are they more expressive, thinking out loud? (Extaversion)

Are they quieter and reflective? (Introversion)

Do they dive deep in the data? (Sensing)

Or are they big picture and future-oriented? (Intuitive)

Are they direct to the point, making decisions with logic? (Thinking)

Or are they focused on the relationships, people and values? (Feeling) 

And are they structured and highly organized? (Juding)

Or are they more flexible and spontaneous? (Perceiving)

If you're not sure, use this MBTI Cheat Sheet for quick reference.

Step 3: Apply the right strategy in common scenarios
Once you recognize your preference and the other person’s, you can shift your style just enough to meet them where they are. To be clear, I am not talking about people pleasing or being a chameleon. What I'm saying is that with a greater understanding of where someone else is coming from, you can make a choice to speak in their 'language'.

Here's what I mean:

Extroversion (E) vs. Introversion (I)

• The Scenario: Your extrovert boss schedules a spontaneous brainstorming meeting and expects ideas on the spot. You have a preference for introversion, and want more time to reflect on the best answer. You are feeling stressed about being called out, and resentful because you weren't given time to prepare.

• The Fix: 

  • If you’re an introvert working with an extrovert:

    • Don’t rely only on email. Set up quick conversations and give them time to think out loud.

    • In meetings, you may need to ask them to pause so others can contribute.

    • Be patient when they brainstorm or “popcorn” ideas. It’s how they do their best work.

    • Recognition and feedback keep them energized, so don’t skip it.

  • If you’re an extrovert working with an introvert:

    • Send an agenda or questions ahead of time; they’ll bring their best work if they can prepare.

    • Don’t expect instant feedback; give them time to reflect and return with their best recommendations.

    • Prompt them in group settings (“Sam, what are your thoughts?”) so their voice is heard.

    • Build in breaks for longer meetings so they can recharge.

Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)

• The Conflict: Your intuitive leader lays out a bold 5-year vision. It's vague with not a lot of research included. You have a sensing preference and find yourself confused and annoyed. You're thinking, “where are the specifics? what research validate this plan? what’s the first step?” The conversation is stalled.

• The Fix: 

  • If you’re intuitive with a sensing colleague:

    • Bring the data; don’t just assume they'll trust you.

    • Present information step by step, not jumping around.

    • Translate big concepts into clear next steps and actions.

    • Partner with someone data-oriented who can help validate your points.

  • If you’re sensing with an intuitive colleague:

    • Be patient when their ideas feel far-fetched; there’s gold there.

    • In presentations, start with the big picture and problem statement so they stay engaged.

    • Offer reality checks and connect their concepts back to facts and data.

Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

• The Conflict: Your thinking preference peer gives blunt critique on your proposal: “This presentation sucks.” You, with a feeling preference, feel deflated, taking the feedback personally, and find yourself disengaging from any conflict or debate.

• The Fix: 

  • If you’re a feel preference working with thinkers:

    • Lean into being direct and logical, even if it feels uncomfortable.

    • Support your opinions with reasoning and evidence.

    • Don’t take blunt feedback personally; focus on the logic.

  • If you’re a thinker working with feelers:

    • Take time to build rapport and acknowledge people’s values.

    • Hold back from critiquing too quickly; collaboration will get you much farther, faster.

    • Aim for win–win solutions, not just efficiency.

    • Acknowledge their feelings without analyzing or dismissing them.

Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

• The Conflict: You have a Judging preference and want to get the project done. You've already pushed the deadline twice. But your Perceiver teammate keeps wanting to explore other options instead of closing the plan.

• The Fix: 

  • If you’re Perceiver with a Judging colleague/boss:

    • Limit options to 2–3 rather than exploring endlessly.

    • Be clear on expectations, schedules, and deadlines.

    • Avoid last-minute changes; they’ll see it as chaotic.

    • Do your best to be on time. It builds trust.

  • If you’re Judging preference with a Perceiving colleague/boss:

    • Give them space to explore before finalizing decisions.

    • Agree on a mutual deadline instead of padding timelines.

    • Stay open to new ideas that surface mid-project.

    • Don’t press for immediate decisions; allow more information to surface.

It’s not about changing who you are; it’s about learning to bridge the gap so you can build trust, influence effectively, and get better results.

The Bottom Line

Communication isn’t about saying more.
It’s about saying it in a way that lands.

And the leaders who get this don’t just communicate. They connect.

They know themselves.
They know their audience.
And they flex to bridge the gap.

That’s influence.
That’s leadership.

That’s how you go from “good at your job” to trusted, promoted, and followed.

The Weekly Edge

Here’s how you can practice using this MBTI secret weapon:

1. Pick one person you work with who is either a) impossible to work with, or b) drives you a little nuts.

2. Use the cheat sheet to guess their style (E/I, S/N, T/F, J/P).

3. Change one thing in your communication toward their preference.

Then debrief with yourself: Did the conversation land better? Did they respond differently?

Remember...

Better communication isn’t about saying more. It’s about saying it in a way that lands.

And when you do that consistently, you don’t just talk.

You lead.

— Julie

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